Just got the diagnosis. My child is ADHD I need advice?
anna h asked:
I have a book I’m reading that was given my another parent I found parenting classes once a week for children with ADHD, and he has a medical doctor visit Monday to discuss possiable medicine to prescribe for him …. Is there anything I need to know … What peice of advice do you wish YOU knew in the begining???
And he is getting counseling for anger and other issues … He is 7 yrs old.
I’ve read through some of your answers and here’s some extra info … We don’t have much sugar… our idea of candy is yogurt cover rasins and to drick is water …. or milk … and on special occasions Juicy juice. I learn when he was about 2 that he gets very hyper very quickly and we cut out as many sugars as p[ossiable as well as a great amount of starches. He has had a Therapists for the last two years and we have moved to another one who so called “specialized” in his feild … whatever feild they seem to place him in but the previous one also felt he was ADD and possiabbly ADHD … I don’t completly agree he is ADHD but ADD yes … I see his face to stuggle with focusing … I wipe his tears when he freels “stuipid” He hates sports because he can’t focus on them it’s not involved enough… Video games he loves but I **** them, he is restricted to V-tech learning games. Myself my husband his teacher my grandmother his father his paternal grandmother all filled out 2 sets of ?s
I have a book I’m reading that was given my another parent I found parenting classes once a week for children with ADHD, and he has a medical doctor visit Monday to discuss possiable medicine to prescribe for him …. Is there anything I need to know … What peice of advice do you wish YOU knew in the begining???
And he is getting counseling for anger and other issues … He is 7 yrs old.
I’ve read through some of your answers and here’s some extra info … We don’t have much sugar… our idea of candy is yogurt cover rasins and to drick is water …. or milk … and on special occasions Juicy juice. I learn when he was about 2 that he gets very hyper very quickly and we cut out as many sugars as p[ossiable as well as a great amount of starches. He has had a Therapists for the last two years and we have moved to another one who so called “specialized” in his feild … whatever feild they seem to place him in but the previous one also felt he was ADD and possiabbly ADHD … I don’t completly agree he is ADHD but ADD yes … I see his face to stuggle with focusing … I wipe his tears when he freels “stuipid” He hates sports because he can’t focus on them it’s not involved enough… Video games he loves but I **** them, he is restricted to V-tech learning games. Myself my husband his teacher my grandmother his father his paternal grandmother all filled out 2 sets of ?s
Tags: Candy, Special Occasions
November 4th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
I suggest you get a second opinion. This is a highly over-diagnosed condition.
November 5th, 2006 at 7:28 am
Your doing everything right, just don’t agree to so much med your child is loopy
November 6th, 2006 at 9:56 am
I would never medicate. But, thats just me. ADHD is over diagnosed and IMO can be controlled with schedule/activity change and diet change.
November 8th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Good luck - I just have one peeve… when people say “my child IS ADHD” - you wouldn’t say “my child IS cancer” - it should be “my child HAS ADHD.”
November 10th, 2006 at 3:35 am
It’s goor that you have some professional help already for your child, but I believe that the most powerful thing you can ever give your child is your LOVE. Acceptance and LOVE, no matter what he/she can do, and no matter what……..
November 12th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Just tire him/her out thru daily activities and be patient! Also just because your child has ADHD it doesn’t mean he/she can’t interact with other kids. Remember there is a cure for this and letting him/her be isolated won’t help.
November 12th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
I would get 2 more opinions first. Don’t medicate your child. There are more constructive ways to help your child and deal with his behavior.
November 12th, 2006 at 11:00 pm
get a second third and fourth opinion!! ADHD is so over diagnosed its ridiculous, every second child you meet has been diagnosed with it! diet change and exorsise wil make a HUGE difference without you having to feed your child unnessesary drugs.
November 14th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
plz dont go medicine route, control diet first. get rid of processed foods, and unnecessary sugars. the meds can be addictive. it takes time but it works. also help your child learn how to focus, and calm down. there are lots of places online you can find more info or support
November 15th, 2006 at 6:35 pm
Have him food allergy tested!!!
November 16th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
ok im not a parent i have have the bi-polor disorder. and for all my childhood year they all said it was adhd. im not douting your dr. but get a 2nd. dont stuff your child with meds, just yet. i know its hard bc you just want your child to be “normal” but from a child’s point of view, your going to make your child even more mad and at 7 years old there are other things you can have you child do insted of meds. read up on the bi-polor disorder. they symtoms are almost the same as adhd.
i will be on meds for the rest of my life. it sux. but its worth it i dont have the highs and lows of my disorder. dont stuff your 7yo with meds, plz!!
good luck and if you need someone to talk to i dont have kids but i know alot about meds and adhd and bi polor. you can email me!!!
November 19th, 2006 at 3:08 am
I would reccomend just being patient with him. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 and he is 9 now. It has been a very trying past few years. Alot of the things that they do they can’t controll. The meds worked great for my son at first, but after about a year I took him off of them because it didn’t seem like they were working anymore and I didn’t want him to be a guinea pig and they are trying all of these different things on him to see what would work. I have learned to just “deal with it” and accept that he’s going to do certain things and that is just who he is. I have him in counceling, he goes to individual counceling once a week and group therapy once a week. Also his school is great. They have a school just for kids with what they term emotional disturbances, which unfortunately ADHD falls under that catagory. It’s great because he gets more individualized attention from teachers and all of the kids in the school have the same issues he does, to certain degrees. He gets to do all of his counceling right there and they have a psychologist right in the school for him. Also keep in mind that ADHD is very highly misdiagnosed and shares a lot of symptoms from other things also. Right now they are calling my son ADHD combined because they know that there is another peice, but they are not sure exactly what yet because the ADHD shares so many other symptoms of other things it is making it hard to make an exact diagnosis, although they told me in the beginning that is was just the ADHD. So don’t be surprised if now that he is getting counceling and seeing a psychiatrist if they change the diagnosis down the road.
November 21st, 2006 at 3:03 pm
You need to get a second opionion and be careful not to accept advice (mine included) that can’t be backed up with facts.
You need to think hard, perhaps with professional help, on how you can parent better to a child with these issues. Any doctor who thinks this can be simply solved by meds isn’t treating the whole problem. At this point, you folks probably have some bad habits, and use parenting strategies that haven’t worked.
Anger issues are really tough. I know I would need some behavioral therapy for ME, so that I could be the right parent for a child with the challenges you are facing.
As for meds/overdiagnosis. Yes, there is overdiagnosis of ADHD, but that doesn’t mean that all of the diagnoses are wrong.
(good luck)
November 23rd, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Investigate neurofeedback therapy. It has been approved by the APA for the treatment of ADD/ADHD. It is non invasive, safe and a very effective alternative to drugs for treating attention problems. Do the research on the web using keywords such as “neurofeedback and ADHD”. Or click below to learn more about neurofeedback.
November 23rd, 2006 at 10:45 pm
I don’t know about medication. Please DO show patience and gentleness toward your child. Good luck.
November 25th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
It would probably be best to get a second opinion. As everyone else said ADHD is over diagnosed. A lot of times its just behavioral. If I were you I would stay away from the medications for ADHD, its scary stuff you put in your kid.
November 27th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
My first query is who made the diagnosis and how. If it was done just by a behaviour checklist, that’s not enough.
For a TRUE diagnosis, he would need to see several specialists - first off, a neurologist for a brain scan; to have chemical and hormone testing; to see a psychologist for serious and exhaustive behaviour testing, nutritional analysis, etc. A great resource is a book by Dr. Lawlis.
In his book, The ADD Answer, Dr. Lawlis asks, “Are we using drugs to control our children’s behavior instead of being responsible parents? When we teach our children at a young age to rely on medications, I fear that we are in danger of creating a generation of pill poppers as a result.” Also, medication is only about 50 percent effective, and it decreases in effectiveness from the day your child starts taking them.
You have a LOT on your plate, and a lot of research to do. Don’t go along with the crowd, seek all the answers you can.
Myself, I would never medicate a child for this. I would be a better parent and do all I could to help him. As a teacher, I saw MANY students improperly diagnosed, and just pill popping. Something like Ritalin is NOT even approved for use by children, for gosh’ sake. It’s just become ‘convenient’ to put a kid on speed, which is just nuts.
Good luck to you. LOVE your kid!
November 28th, 2006 at 6:22 am
At 7 years old you are still developing character. ADHD has the potential to result in negative feedback from adults and peers when they act impulsively. Understand that he is a child with a “condition” that impairs processing information slowly and deliberately. Little boys often will say and do things that result in punishment. When giving a consequence to you son eg., he has thrown or kicked a toy at another child. talk him through his action. Saying , ” That wasn’t a safe thing to do, what could have happened if you hit that little boy in the eye?” would be an appropriate way to discipline. Have them tell you what they “could” have done instead and how would that have resulted. You need to be teaching the process of thinking through their actions. I’ve seen too many 6th graders with horrible self esteem because they’ve been punished most of their childhood. They become self destructive and poorly behaved. Be positive! Understand neurologically they are immature and ADHD is more acceptable in adulthood. Medicate lightly and fade as he gets older. Find GREAT teachers. They are out there. Be involved in elementary education and in the classroom whenever possible. Know your child’s friends. If they act impulsively, your are in double trouble. Love your son unconditionally. Good Luck
November 30th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Pops (specifically the ones with caffine or color in them) contribute the the problem..
TV contributes to the problem - typically these shows have short clips and this actually trains the brain to continue to think in short chunks - so it does not improve the attention span .. in kinds that are prone to problems - TV helps create them - movies are infact better…
day cares contribute to the problems - by being busy and somewhat random with so many other kids - too much stimulation doesnt allow the brain to be bored..
parents who feel they MUST provide entertainment for their kids all the time help cause this - eg TV’s in cars - the kids never learn how to be ok with slow (boring) times…
studies show that these kids will slow down a bit when outdoors with nature (eg. playing in a pond)… so I strongly suggest more outdoor stuff..
also free range eggs instead of battery hen eggs.. free range eggs actually contain different aminos and are healthier.. they are alkaline not acidic like battery hen eggs…
December 2nd, 2006 at 7:24 pm
This may sound stupid and far fetched (and it might be LOL), but when I was little I was hyper, couldn’t concentrate, etc. My mother saw on Oprah where changing a child’s diet can help (ie cut out food coloring.. especially Yellow #5, which is just toxic waiste, you can look it up on the internet). When she cut out all food coloring, she said I turned into a totally different child. She said that I calmed down, etc. I still don’t eat it because it gives me a horrible stomach ache and I get really mean and moody.
If you don’t want to give medicine, you could read about some dietery changes. I know a little boy with autism, he couldn’t communicate or anything… his doctor told them to change his diet, and lo and behold he can communicate better now, focus some. It’s amazing how it helped him.
I hope you find something to help soon.
December 3rd, 2006 at 3:53 pm
I would get him into a routine that is easy to follow and if he needs medication don’t for get to give it to him. Try and see if there are any places that will look after him during school hoidays for a or so a week for you. I work at a playscheme for children with special needs (including ADHD) and we notice when the children are due their medications and how much the parents appreciate the time when they can do what they need to do in a day without their child being around.
December 4th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
hi! i myself am not a parent, but im 20 years old and was diagnosed with adhd…. oh, i’d say around the 4th or 5th grade ( a few years older then your son). im more than willing to talk about it (meds, how i felt before/after being diagnosed, and all that stuff)… just let me know if you do
just remember, its not the end of the world
also… please do not rule out medicine. i know that there have been problems with alot of them for some people. BUT they also work for a lot of people (like me :] ) . putting your child on meds doesn’t result in the meds taking over his brain and personality (if that seems to be happening, its probably either the wrong med or too high of a dose =/ ).
im not saying that you shouldn’t try other things first, but just please dont rule out the option of medicine.
plus, people didn’t spend this long developing meds for people w/ad(h)d, just for the hell of it, right?–they did it hoping to HELP people.
December 8th, 2006 at 5:02 am
get a second opinion i think teachers and doctors are to quick and say kids have add adhd when there could be more of an underlying problem ……and what ever you do please dont let them put him on ridlin….that is one drug you dont want him to have …….
December 8th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
whatever you do, dont give him ridaline, or however you spell it
December 9th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
I like what Stinkycheezeface has to say. It is easy to be constantly disciplining for negative things, and that does lead to a negative self-image. Using a positive way to deal with it is a good idea. Also, I used to let my son calm down in his room, and I calmed down, too, before approaching whatever had happened. Then, I calmly sat down and talked about it. Certainly, life is not without consequences, in the real world, so you have to work that in, too, but helping the child to maintain a positive self-image is important; this, of course includes showing the child that you love him, even when he has made mistakes, and giving him a chance to improve. Hugs and reassurances that you love him, because of who he is - find the things you like about him, and remind him about those, a lot. Find something he loves to do, and encourage this. The thing I wish I had discovered, sooner, is connected with the whole sugar and foods thing. I took my son to an allergist, after reading, “Allergies and the Hyperactive Child”, by Dr. Doris Rapp. Before that, I felt a little like a poor parent, even though I did everything the right way. After I found that he reacted to many common foods, I was able to limit or eliminate some of them enough to have an easier time with the whole thing. His anger and outbursts diminished greatly, which helped a lot. Some of the triggers (for my son) were: milk, wheat, orange juice, sugar and tomatoes. The biggest and most problem-causing item, however, was peanut butter or anything with peanuts or peanut oil in it. Once I eliminated this from his diet, he was much easier to deal with. Each child is different. That is why a visit to an allergist sensitive to the topic may help. Intradermal testing worked for us. By the way, don’t expect your regular doctor or any counsellor/psychologist to buy into this line of thinking.